Tell Me Why

I'm sick and tired of your attitude.
Sick of this going around and around in circles.
Sick of this being a big deal somehow.
Sick of realizing it is partly my fault too.
Isn't it like a horror story?
I laughed it off,
until I realized it IS actually that scary.
What are you thinking?
Are you really that stubborn?
How should I know?
If only I settled things sooner
If only I handled it better
If only you could say things earlier
If only you don't jump to your own conclusions
Guess what,
it is both our faults,
and it is nobody's fault  
Don't run, don't hide, don't back down?
Well Lexin, time to put your own advice to good use.

The First Day

Today is the day, but the impact from yesterday still hasn't died down. Of course we were forced to go to school to attend one of the most long-winded events ever, but hey, there's money involved. And because of this too, I hung out in the weirdest group I have ever been in. It was a rather weird day, but it was sure enough, 'interesting'. Getting pushed, hit, and attacked by Ms. Psycho, the most awkward game of Truth or Dare ever, (courtesy of Ms. Psycho's awkward questions), Freedom's big 'confession' in 6RS, and of course there was the B.C finally confessing to B.C thing.

You know whenever I am out at a cafe or something, my table will always be the noisiest one around. And I used to think it was just cause that is how my group of friends are. Yeah you know what, scratch that. It doesn't matter who I was hanging out with, my table will still be the noisiest one in the whole place. Like we can go from me being shushed by Mr. Freedom and Ms. Mole cause 'we weren't the only ones there anymore', to the whole place probably knowing about Freedom and Ms Mole's pooping business. Reading comics, discussing life issues, counselling session... okay seriously the things we did in that short period of time. =.= I gotta say though, I really enjoyed it.

First day of being 19. It is quite an interesting way to put it, ever since I saw Ms. Forever Pengerusi's message :). One of the things I thought of was a few days ago was actually the fact that next year I am supposed to be 20. TWENTY. The word looms up bigger and bigger. I just feel like it is a really OLD age to be. And I know that isn't true cause looking at my bro and friends they pretty much act a lot like how we are now. But I don't know, I just remember when I was wayy younger and I used to think that once your age starts with '2', then you are supposed to be a full- on adult, you know, just be...an adult. Adult. What is that supposed to mean anyway? People still mistake me for a FORM 1 for goodness sakes.

And then leaving school. I feel like one of the only few people who is actually really upset about leaving but that is just me, I get way too emotionally attached to people and then it is like I don't want them to ever leave me. Of course there is the fact I don't want to grow uppppppppp ~~~~ there is the whole what am I supposed to do? What do I want to do? Issue. There is the 'everything will change but you don't know how' issue. There is the not going to school everyday and seeing the people who are always there issue. There are a lot of issues. No matter how much you tell yourself that you will hold on to every precious few moments left , you know very well that the days are slipping away like an out of control whirlwind, and I look at the present time, and what? I am already officially 19? How did one whole month just slip by like that? Even today, just looking at the time, how did the whole day just slip by like that?

But I guess on my birthday every year, there is this need to be thankful. And honestly I am. It is always the same old thing, thank you to so and so for always being there for me, and all sorts of such stuff which aren't things these people haven't heard from me, but honestly, there are not enough words to express them.

Ms. Enlightened, who has been there with me since the beginning of time, the only true constant in my form 6 life. The one who tells cold jokes, but listens to my problems in a way that is neutral, but still on my side.

Ms. Chancello, who I should've been friends with way earlier, but who is so much alike to me. The one who is also emotional and gets agitated easily, but is very calm when I am NOT.

Ms. Pengerusi, the one who I share everything with, and the one who shares everything with me. We have a connection that runs so deep, no words are needed anymore. We are practically the definition for the phrase 'I have your back'.

Mr. Tsubasa, one term, one short term, and yet in that short period of time, we somehow connected. Our friendship will 'never ever ever' break, no matter what happens.

Freedom, I don't think I need to say more. I have probably said enough. Though I don't know whether or not you ever got anything I said through all the laughing, joking, overreacting, crazy-ing and emotional-ing ;) But in a nutshell, whatever it is, what fun we had all this time :D              

Then there are so many others, GLSquare, Double K, my first few friends, though they are typical annoying guys, they are so much fun to be around and really really awesome people. And everyone I met that has ever made me smile (in this case, well, every one in class).

Dear Lexin, the one who just turned 19. You are not perfect. In fact you are way wayyyy off from it. You disappoint me sometimes. You might make me feel regretful. And you might make me feel sad. But you only have room to grow stronger, and better. Learn from your mistakes, but don't let them stop you. Live, laugh, love, and be happy. Don't be afraid. Don't run, don't hide, and don't back down. Stop worrying about everything. Follow your dreams. Regret nothing. Remember those you love, always. Do your best for them, and for yourself. When in doubt, go crazy. And life will be whatever you want it to be.

Here's to an even better tomorrow. Happy 19th.


     

The day before

Yesterday. Yesterday was completely awesome. To think I thought about what could possibly surprise me at this point in time? Yeah turns out I was completely wrong, cause the surprises were OVERWHELMING. Lets start with how Ms. Banana just casually strolled into class and reached for the light switches like I wasn't staring at her the whole time, it was actually really funny hahahaha. Sorry guys for ruining my own surprise lol. But then when the gifts started, it was... it was just...I couldn't believe that I would be that surprised but I was just completely overwhelmed. Firstly, the gramophone music box that Ms Chancello and I saw in Megalong, never have I thought she would actually go and BUY it, and it is GORGEOUS. Oh dear lord. It was the first thing and I already thought I would faint. And to think Sifu joined in too awwwwww. Of course, a big hearty thank you to Mr. Marlboro and also the 'Freedom Gang' (I have no idea why you guys are called the Freedom Gang but lets just go with it) for your gifts. Lol when I saw Mr. Marlboro's keychain I was like 'how...appropriate', hahaha. And the purse, which I didn't properly look at the print on it at first, but when I really looked at it, I think I straight up fell in love with it haha.

     

And next, the album. I got so emotional reading it, it was kinda ridiculous. Firstly, Mr. Stranger's message was so...I don't even know how to say it, I just thought it was rather sweet, considering that he is the person I am least familiar with, I thought it was REALLY nice. And then I saw Mr. G's name and I had to double take. I was like shouting his name out loud as if he appeared right in front of me, but my god I was so surprised and it was so sweet. And then Mr. Tsubasa, the background of your message, I can honestly say I was touched. Super super super touched. Thanks to Ms. Enlightened and Ms. Forever Pengerusi for putting it together, it was so beautiful. 

And you know how sometimes really small things just means so much? Yeah, Mr. Tequila knocked it straight out of the park. He gave me this small red box, and I was wondering what could possibly be in it. At first sight I saw this:

     And of course, firstly, STARS. He folded his stars thing and honestly if the box only contained the stars I would be happy enough lol. And the keychain inside it, at first I thought it looked like some sort of anime thing, and then I took it out, and it is actually....

I cannot use words to express how I felt. It was like...EVERYTHING in this little box is so RIGHT, I just can't. I can't be calm about this. I don't know if it was pure coincidence that he chose this sort of keychain or something, but how, how did he KNOW I like stuff with musical notes on it, just how. How. I don't know. Not to mention I later discovered there were exactly nineteen stars in the box, and even if it wasn't intentional I still think that was sweet. This proves that even though we annoy each other all the time, he is still an annoying, braggy, but awesome chess prince. Lol what kind of description is that.

But really, I probably got the most emotional due to Ms Forever Pengerusi. The bag that reminded me of you at once. The 'half drunk' notebook haha. Your letter which actually made me teary, I've got to say that was probably the most heartfelt and honest (not that the others weren't honest xp ) letter I have ever read. There is something about it that just made our lives together fly by in my head like a montage and I had to re-read it like ten thousand times. Thank you, thank you, thank you for pouring your heart out to me. 

And then, the ultimate emotional burst, came from this -

 

If I didn't think it was something else at first I probably wouldn't have been so surprised (but I would still be), but when I had a proper GOOD look at it, and I realized it was the CARROT BUNNY, I completely lost it. I cannot believe you made this, it is the most incredible thing ever. I don't even know how many times I have said Oh My God but seriously you guys made me REALLY happy. I feel as if you people know me better than I know myself, cause if I were to give myself something I would've never thought of these things, and you guys did a better job than I could've ever done.   

And of course, Mr. Tsubasa, THANK YOU for the album! It was an unexpected album, but I, as appropriately titled, LOVE it haha! 

 

 

  I had all sorts of mixed feelings waiting for my birthday to come, but I am so, so grateful that you guys are the ones I celebrated with. And really, if there was ever a definition for love, yesterday would be it. Because I realized that everything which made the hard STPM year the best time of my life, was you guys.What more can a girl ask for on her birthday? 

For all the birthdays we have celebrated together, thanks for making mine extra special too.     

Tsubasa

Sometimes I turn back time,

It's not hard to do

Cause I remember everything

Maybe you do too

Remember when we first met?

I wonder what you were thinking,

When you tried to scare me from behind,

When you called me 'LowLow' out of the blue

Isn't it funny to think of now

We were just two strangers,

and I never had a clue

Maybe I thought you hated me,

Maybe you thought I was hard to please,

Maybe you didn't believe in me,

Maybe I thought you were strange

Sometimes, I turn back time

So many things have changed

So many feelings grew

It's not hard to picture you,

there was our awkward first conversation

there was the talk about our future

about dolphins and medicine,

about sitting in your CUTE,

there we were, singing under the tree together

and there we were, dancing to the latest trend

Remember how there was the four of us,

causing chaos everywhere we go,

laughing about inappropriate jokes,

frozen yogurt, random stores

remember how there was the four of us,

it was us against the world

and whenever we were together,

we had the whole world.

Sometimes, I turn back time

and I think of what used to be

I think of who you are,

of who I become when I'm with you

I think of laughter and smiles,

and how much you mean to me

Distance doesn't mean a thing

Because some things never fade

Time doesn't mean a thing

If our memories remain

may your wings grow stronger

and may your dreams take you

wherever you want to go

thank you

for the time of my life

thank you

for being there once,

and for being there forever

Happy Birthday to you.
  

Hands of Fate

You know you haven't been blogging for awhile when you almost forgot your password. They say time flies when you're having a good time, but for some reason time can also fly by even when you aren't having too much of a 'good time'. Or maybe it is the whole 'blocking out the bad memories' thing going on. Things change, really quickly. In just a blink of an eye, everything can change, and it sweeps over like a current, nothing you can do to stop it. The more you fight it, the worse it becomes. If you list out every event in your life that changes you in a way, can you ever list them all?

Man are the only ones plagued by one of the most ultimate fears, the fear of time running out. When I think about seizing the moment and living your life, how very, very soon everything I have now will be gone,   and it will change, I almost get a panic attack of some sort. Things don't go your way forever, and nothing really lasts forever. Maybe now you're perfect, and the next second you're broken. Maybe now you love, and suddenly you're forced to hate, then the next second you love again. Maybe you know some things are wrong, but you still see it as right, because there is no time, time is running out, there is no time for all the wrong. Why do we complicate things with 'cause that is how it is, you HAVE to face the truth'. Maybe when you start fearing about time, then you realize that 'the bitter truth' can use some sugar coating. Cause why would we want our memories to be filled with hate, despair, and disappointment?

We can't handle things on our own all the time. We are not psychologists and motivational speakers and crazy optimists no matter how many people come to you for advice and to tell you their feelings. Even if you wish you are really all that. But some things you tell yourself everyday, tell yourself till you're tired of your own thoughts, tell yourself till you run out of positive things to say to other people, and you realize that actually, the whole positive vibe comes more naturally now. And the smallest things help, even just a bit. Like occupying your time and mind with tons of chemistry exercises, like listening to Ed Sheeran while snuggling in a blanket with your favorite hot drink.

Nothing really lasts forever, but as long as something touched you once, it will touch you forever.

We see things the way we want it to be 

And things turn out the way we see it

Tell me what is wrong

Tell me what is right

Tell me why if you fight life,

Life always wins

You care till it hurts, or bleeds,

Or fades in time

And the hurt really does fade,

though the memory stays

And you always come away with something more

It was good, never looking down

We just learn to live with the pain

Mosaic broken hearts 

There's always some people around

they come around and the armor falls

Pierce the room like a cannon ball
you never saw them coming

and you'll never be the same again

and all we know,

is don't let go

Some things in life just had to happen,

so you tell yourself

these are the hands of fate,

this is the worthwhile fight,

this is the golden age,

this is the state of grace

I'll paint you by numbers,

and colour you in

if things go right we can frame it

and put you on a wall

I'm gonna pick up the pieces, 

and build a lego house

if things go wrong we can knock it down.

And I will love you better now. 

   
         

If we seize the night

What an overdue post, but...you can't let prom pass without writing bout it right?

It was a nice night. It definitely wasn't like crazzzzzy awesomeeee or anything like that, which it never turns out that way, but I would say that it turned our quite nicely! Starting from the extremely budget buys I got (thanks to Ms Chancello), then to my crazy DIY mess with my hair (turned out okay-ish actually), then debating about whose house to go to first and how to get there. The place was much nicer than I expected. Everyone was GORGEOUS that night, like seriously, whoah, you get a slight sort of 'omg everyone looks so good and I look like...?????' feeling, BUT, the typical girl thought didn't really take over that much, cause the night just sweeps you away. But I've gotta say, honestly, the dress was great (thanks again Ms Chancello xp)
My table mates were awesome, really noisy, but awesome. I still don't get how our table is miles away from the other two 6AS tables, it was kinda unfair honestly =.= but it was okay, the camwhore session made up for it. We had the most messily beautiful performance from Mr. Legendary, Mr,. Tequila and Mr. Sot, it was so good, and we were all so happy watching them, even though the three of them had an 'after performance argument' behind me haha. Guys, it was great, come on. And when Mr. Ukulele went up for the impromptu drumming, that was by far EPIC. What else? our AJK comedian did some really good singing too, I was impressed, in fact his voice kinda reminds me of Mr. Tequila a bit 0.0                

And the fact that the highlight of my night was something Mr. Naruto (aka Mr. Spoon now), did was ridiculous. But lol, that is what happens for swearing you will swallow a spoon if you won the lucky draw. It eventually led on to us suggesting that he shall swallow a spoon if anyone from our table wins, and of course Ms. Enlightened and her lucky number won after that. And instead of going 'yay she won!' like the others, we were all like 'YES!!!!! EAT SPOON!!!!!!!!' HAHAHA. It was rather epic. Ah, when shall his fate be sealed? ;) BUt guys, seriously, we thought you would win the coke thing for sure cause you had Mr. F, but apparently Mr. F was the ONLY one good at that. Oh well =.=

Thank you, everyone, for being like the awesomest, funniest, craziest friends ever, for that night was a great one. When I ran around taking pictures *like I just didn't care*, I felt like the fate of me having my most memorable pictures ever was depending on that night haha. So we didn't actually take a thousand pictures, Ms. Forever Pengerusi, but a picture speaks a thousand words, and a memory lasts more beautifully than any picture. You looked absolutely gorgeous and glam that night, really befitting for our forever pengerusi haha :) And thank you Mr. Freedom (or Einstein) for taking silly pictures with me too. Btw, so much for going all natural with your hair eh =.= But it was, as I said, adorable :p .

Mr Tsubasa, I was reminded of you, how last year's prom was in some ways more exciting than this year's, and that is very much thanks to you. Even though you weren't here, a part of you is always around here somewhere, and if you were here that night we would've sang and danced the night away, and you would look the best ;) Ah, trust me, cause I always mean what I say right :D

I guess after that night I got some sort of two-day hangover. But ah, when it was finally over, getting out of all the formal stuff, especially after finally getting out the contacts that made me feel like I was trying to poke my eyeballs out =.= , I felt like once a year is enough for all these formal stuff. Cause just being casual feels soooo good. However, being in that sort of occasion with the people you love is definitely priceless.      

What more can I say? We owned the night.

May our hearts be full like our drinks tonight

Maye we sing and dance till we lose our minds

We are only young if we seize the night

Tonight, we own the night 

Forever and Always

     When do I feel most responsible? When I am finally handing over my job to someone. Then man, do I go all "this is important, that is important , remember this, remember that". Maybe it's cause those are things I didn't remember myself, and I am hoping that we gave rise to even better 'successors'. Though of course, no one will EVER be as great a Pengerusi as Ms. Forever Pengerusi. Yes, forever, because hey, we don't go through almost a year of S*** without always remembering we once had this responsibility. For all the times we stressed out over the library activities, for all the times we freaked out about our dear teacher, for all the duty lists that I sometimes forget to change, for all the conversations we had at the round table, the round table that kept all our secrets. LONG LIVE US! :D

  You realize new things everyday, you realize more things about yourself every time. Some things you laugh about so much it is still funny after a long, long time, how people crash through people and become a wrecking ball. Some things you get nervous about even though it is not directly of your concern, things that you're afraid will affect the mood of the people you care about. Forcing people to suck it up and check stuff, saying things you think they should hear afterwards, still believing there is hope for this to turn around. Being proud and so, so glad for the one that made it. You have no idea how glad I am, though we fight and I annoy you and you annoy me, I am SO relieved, and so happy. Oh, and turning to someone you never thought you would turn to, because though they don't understand anything, but it's just the way they are, saying and doing those 'little random things' they do so well.

   You realize new things everyday, about how some things you just can't change. Accept it, as best you can, accept it for the lesson you learn from it. Accept it, cause there is always something more.

Some things... they stay in your mind, they make you try to understand why. Like dreaming about almost getting hit by a car, like dreaming about someone pushing you out of harm's way.

       Have a happy day everyone,

Lexie

还有什么 ， 没有

人到了一定的时候

总是胡乱想抓住什么

命运是一种理由

现实的面孔

不到你说不懂

Never ever

People will tell you things you want to hear
You will convince yourself otherwise
You will fight to think everything will be fine
Then you give yourself reasons why everything is wrong
I am not a hero
I don't always know what to do
I am helpless sometimes
But some things convince me to be strong
Some beautiful things, things like you
Words can be such cheap poetry
Words don't always heal wounds
But if those are what I can give,
I'll give all of them to you.
We're that kind of people,
afraid of being replaced, afraid of being abandoned
afraid that the one you care about, doesn't care as much
Don't be afraid of being alone,
Just look around and you will definitely see
I will always be there for you
I will always keep you in mind
I won't always know what to say
But I will always try
Every hardship is teaching me something,
no matter whose story it is
When I listen to what you have to say,
I feel myself growing stronger with it
I can't promise you the world,
But this I can promise you
If you have to fight to be a butterfly,
I will fight with you.

I will never let you go,
I am always here for you
I will never let you go,
I believe in you

 I hope you believe in me too.

Let it all come pouring out,

There is nothing I can't take

Remember how you save me now

From all of my wrong

If your sky is falling

Take my hand and hold it

This is no time to be alone

and I won't let you go  

The Last Time

When people let their minds wander, they go off to the strangest places. Oh, the things different people can ask me at the same time....Things about what if she was a guy and what I think is the purpose of my life. They ask, I answer, then I wonder to myself. I can talk and talk to the same person, all night, about pointless things, or the same things over and over again, and yet some things never truly get answered because I truly don't know. When everyone else is in a weird mood together, at least tonight I was in a good one. Talking about your future and reminiscing the past. Complaining about people and doubting yourself. Listening to motivational songs and declaring your love for a friend together. It's just one of those nights.

Then at the same night, Nick Vujicic appears on TV, talking about things related to what I have heard from my many conversations. Just that what he says seems to be the answer to a lot of things, although it is not what I've never heard before. If he had given up long ago, then he wouldn't have gotten what he has now. Things about Asian parents,negative reinforcement versus positive acknowledgement. Things about you're beautiful, and move on from those 'emo' stuff and project happiness. This guy. Everything he says , however cliche, makes you go 'ahhhhhh. I hear you dude.' 

Don't even bother asking me 'do you believe in me?' again. My answer is always 'yes.' and I don't lie. I told you, I believe in everyone. Even people I'm not necessarily too fond of. I don't think I am ever truly surprised if someone suddenly accomplishes something, because for some reason or other I think anyone can do anything. If you ask me 'why do you think I will be fine?' Maybe I will say it again - 'Because,  you are just like me. ' I don't care if you disagree with me, but I am just going to say it - We will always be 'fine', no matter what happens. It doesn't mean we won't get upset about things, but we WILL be fine. We can handle anything. Okay perhaps I shall tell myself that ten times a day and it will be like the 'today I feel great' thing. =.= 

I don't ever want to say and do something heartfelt or important without really meaning it, ever. Man, if only I get a penny for every single time I say that recently. Call me crazy, but no matter how cheesy/scripted I sound, I MEAN the things I say. I don't care if while saying it I was laughing, frowning, sighing, smiling, if it was cheesy or stupid or sounds like I am joking, I actually do MEAN THINGS. If I say I think you're awesome then trust me, at least to me, you are. If I have ever said I will do anything for you then congrats, you must really mean a lot to me. If I ever add 'it means a lot' behind my 'Thank You', you better believe that it really means THE WORLD to me. If I say I think you can do something, then I swear to god I think you can, and I am waiting to see you do it.

So...tonight, I had this sudden epiphany  about how I should carry on with this and blah blah blah. If ..'stuff' happens again, I swear to myself, I will say exactly what I think of it. If I think you are being an idiot again, then the next time I AM going to tell you, seriously, you are being an IDIOT. If I want someone to just back off for a bit then I am going to ASK you to BACK OFF. In fact if this actually happens I am probably not going to shut up, no matter how awkward the situation is. (so this is turning into a rant...?) 

Look at me, writing things I probably won't be able to accomplish. But it's just one of those nights.

You say thanks for being a friend
and we're going in circles again and again

I dedicate this song to you
the one who never sees the truth
that I can take away your hurt
Heartbreak Girl

       

 This is the last time I'm asking you this,

Put my name at the top of your list.

Over again

Once again, I feel like running away with you
even if you probably don't wan't to =.=
Maybe not to somewhere only we know,
just somewhere
far, far away
Sometimes I say I'll go to where you are
I am starting to feel like I will really do it
Maybe we should go somewhere
where we talk about everything every night
where we don't have abandonment issues
where we don't get upset about the silliest things
where people remember you're there
and they remember to help you
where we laugh about things and mean it

Maybe we're not special, but at least...
We can talk about awkward things naturally
I can get upset at you and we become closer after it
You can't tell me everything
But I still understand everything
perfectly well

Now,
Everything is repeating in a pattern
If it really repeats all over again
Can I make things right this time?
What do you think?
Tell me I can handle it
And I'll tell you I can

things don't end
they just start all over again

With broken words I tried to say

honey don't you be afraid

we got nothing, we got us

You got something I need

In this world full of people

and if we only die once 

I wanna die with you

If we only live once

I wanna live with you

认真地笑

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dear, dear, beloved friends, Ms. Pengerusi and Mr. Marlboro!!! This is quite a long awaited day, I really hope you guys liked the gifts and whatnot. I guess what we planned to do was done, and Mr. Marlboro had his taste of karma too, awwww yeah xp. (yes, making him read a long and pointless story means a lot to me (?) )

You know how when emotions accumulate over time, then a small, insignificant thing comes as a trigger, and everything flows out like water. Sometimes they really don't mean anything, I guess, it's just finally a release. Of course at the end of it you realize you completely WASTED your whole day just on that, and all you got was that your eyes hurt. Great going. =.= =.= =.=

Then it is always the simple things, or rather, the most unexpected things, that are so ridiculous but it makes you feel better.
 "有下雨 meh？”
“你的雨伞。粉红色，又这样小。。。”
“好笑，你走路好像很快的。。。”
“你走哪里？”

 Ridiculous. Makes you feel better. Thank you.

Then there is my 'long lost twin brother' sort of person, fighting through those feelings of his. Somehow he seems so much more like a naive, innocent...uh...girl?
You don't always know what the right thing to do is, but if it really means that much to you, then at least you know what you want to do. And then what you really want to do, becomes the right thing to do. You're probably going to feel the same emotions either way, but at least, maybe, you can eliminate regret. Things can be simple if you can only just say what you mean, and mean what you say. It is so hard, but it can be so simple.有时候 ，勇敢只是在对的时候，做出疯狂的东西。没什么特别。有时候，勇敢就是。。。 害怕结局， 还是去做。 知道结局，还是去做。那是一种傻，值得的傻。

Some things are just funny when you first hear it. Then when you really think about it, it means so much more.

“我跟你讲喔， 跟我认真地笑。”

Ridiculous.

Makes you feel better.

笑， 就要认真地笑。

Happy Birthday dear friends

    
 








 

就那么简单

What a memorable day. Something happened, something that we have no idea how it's gonna turn out, something I hope wouldn't ruin his life forever. But even if it ruins his life, well at least it's just for the next few months.....
But my god, it was so perfect.

精心筹备，逼了又逼后， 一切就是等着那一刻。女生经过的那一刻， 努力挽留她的脚步的那一刻，对着他又喊又推的那一刻， 毫不犹豫使尽全力的那一刻。 就是想看到他 - 带着那份心意，和那股突然燃起的勇气，送到门前，送到她手中。她很疑惑，他很紧张， 可是我们呢，那一刻都好像胜利了，大家一起又喊又叫，跳上跳下，喊着 ‘他长大了！’  对呀，就在那一刻， 这个幼稚的男生终于多么像个男子汉 XP.

I don't think anyone would be as crazy as me to be this excited about such a thing. But this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would excite me (as a lot of people would say), especially if I can play a part in it. It started as teasing, as an inside joke, and it finally blows down to today. The Enlightened Being told me he wouldn't do it, I shouldn't be so expectant, I would be disappointed. Ah, but this time, something finally worked out almost exactly according to plan.

也就是今天，他对我说了好多终于不是废话的东西

“陪我一起怕”
 “好，我陪你, 我明白你的感受”

“不是心不心痛的问题”
“可是一切都是值得的”

“不是我不要，可是如果是你，你敢送吗？”
 “我敢.”

这种东西， 就算是小事也好， 但是勇敢。。。有多少人能做得到, 又有多少人 ‘勇敢’ 后可以豪无顾虑。 好啦，不要怕了，我们都在撑你。

Maybe I am really nosy, maybe I just like seeing cute things like this, maybe this makes me feel like I am in a romantic comedy or an idol drama, but just that moment when we were screaming and jumping and cheering, high-fiving, even later when I fist bumped him. Regardless of what was actually happening outside the class, it didn't seem to matter, and it makes me think.  Hm.... what was that phrase, something you see and hear a lot, but usually couldn't understand. Ah,
原来, 快乐就这么简单

不管了 不想了

不等了

不要不快乐

伤心的人别听慢歌

 

Flowers Grow

Okay, okay, okay,
dear friends,
was I too emotional?
Sorry, Scorpio problems,
us with our ethanoating, keeping grudges,
cold expressions, and overflowing emotions...
It is like we have all the seven sins wrapped up (including lust I guess lol)
I've read somewhere that we fear showing signs of weakness
and a lot of times that is true

Dear friend,
thanks for letting me fall back on you
oh how did you go through everything on your own,
I think I am starting to learn how though
But for now, I don't want to have to 'lean on someone'
but not because I don't want to show weakness,
I just want things to be fine enough, so that I don't have to lean,
I'll just stand on my own

And dear friend,
I'll say sorry one last time,
for saying it out of the blue,
and for probably shocking the living hell out of you,
and for a lot a lot of things I probably put you through
we made a promise,
and we are going to keep it
we are fine like this

we are perfect

everything is perfect
you just need to trust me
cause I trust you too

And lastly,
dear friends,
I think we (actually, I,) need to stop this...
the poor people who read our blogs will be confused as s***  (LOL)

...But who am I kidding, our blog posts will probably be confusing as s*** forever xp

              A little fall of rain

            Can hardly hurt me now

               That's all I need to know

              And rain will make the flowers grow

carrots and bunnies

she said 'are you okay'
check through the phone
she's been asking that a lot I realized
oh dear,
what has been happening to me lately
I just need a day to get through most things
but mostly cause I can talk to her about it
it always helps,
it really does
oh dear,what am I doing
I keep talking and talking
freaking out
going ALL CAPS
'shouting' into the phone?
saying a million words
but all about the same thing
but it's like you completely understand
and for this situation, you almost literally do
oh dear,
what would I ever do without you
at the end of it you always make me laugh,
like carrots and bunnies
like eating things up

some snow would be nice

Idiot

如果连这种小事都做不出来

你有什么资格烦

你到底做过了什么

只不过在那儿

吵 ，吵，吵

烦死人了

到底烦够了没有

你管其他人怎样

你以为只有你一个人有事做吗

跟我静下来

做好你的本分

Ms Lexin,

Sometimes you dissappoint me.

Ms Lexin,

Stop dissappointing me.

I think I need a sunrise,

I'm tired of the sunset

Virgo

   Ugh, procrastinating again, though I actually have so much to do during the holidays. No idea for any blog posts though. Nothing. Ah, then I stumble across a certain pretty girl's blog post, and I had *so much feels* I have to write something back!

*warning: love confession time! XD

 Yeah, if you are a guy. I would sing all the Taylor Swift songs you love, regardless of your gender (and boob size lol?). And I'll still be your faithful secretary, though I kinda suck at taking up responsibility, but I will still be. Fun fact, the day you called me 'the best secretary ever'...I was SUPER touched...for some reason it is a big deal to me. The round table will still be as noisy, or more noisy than ever. And if people think we're dating, we will probably laugh about it and say 'yeah, yeah we are.' And I would let you take me to prom. (btw I was all like someone wants to take me to prom aww yeah!! xp) When you are feeling down, I'll be there and cross my fingers that I can be helpful about it. And I'll always listen. I would dump all my personal stuff on you, and you will definitely make me feel better. Hey, things are always 1000000 times crazier, and more interesting when YOU are around ;)

Random note : Hmmh, if I am a guy, I would be...gay. that's about it? lol xp.

Long live the walls we crashed through

I had the time of my life 

with you

Have happy day everyone,

Lexie

 
   

2 Years

    They say you will revert back to you old ways when you meet your old friends again, and I guess I personally experienced this. It has been so so so so long since The Annoyings can get back together as the 'Lucky 7' again, since someone is always not around or busy. And what happens when seven 19 year olds who haven't reunited in two years meet? We act like we're 16 again of course. And tear the place down.  

   I thought I am crazy enough in Form 6, and honestly I am, but somehow this is a completely different kind of crazy. It is a 'I feel even younger than I've ever felt before' kind of crazy. We laughed at every sentence we said, talked about personal stuff so loudly I think the whole place knows us now, *made fun of our ex-es XD*, made a fool of ourselves while ordering food, refilled our drinks twice, took like literally (seriously, literally)a hundred pictures... and a lot of it was a result of hogging the waitress for like 15 minutes. And the list goes on. The songs they played at Burger Bar was really appropriate too. 'We Are Young' and 'Good Time' starts playing, and you feel like the night will never end.

   But as always, three hours passed by like 3 minutes. And I have come to the conclusion that it isn't a truly fun night if I don't end up feeling like vomiting by the end of it. Yeah if I laugh too much I get a 'condition', but oh well. We seldom talk about important life stuff whenever we are together, you know, stuff like how  studies are and what are our plans for the future seem to slip right off our minds. But for two of The Annoyings going to UMS, I wish them allll the best. And I know our paths will always cross, no matter where life takes us.

   When we are together, the night will never end.

Tonight we are young

So lets set the world on fire

we can burn brighter than the sun  

I'm in if you're down to get down tonight
Cuz it's always a good time

 

Like we dream impossible dreams

Life is daydreaming when you have more important things to do,
Getting upset over things that don't matter,
and laughing at things that don't make sense

Life is having a crush on strangers,
and falling for the wrong people,
Getting to know people you thought were your friends,
and getting closer to those you never thought you would

Life is falling asleep in class,
and going crazy in the school library
Dying to go home on a busy day
And dying to go back to school when you're lonely
It is trying to make sense of sarcastic remarks in PA,
barely staying awake while teacher is doing sums,
doing chemistry experiments without any results,
and singing your heart out in Bio.

Life is getting your jobs done at the last minute,
and freaking out together after a very hard test,
getting broke on birthdays,
and starting the surprises all over again
planning crazy things for the holidays,
and talking every moment like we are never meeting again.

Life is knowing that some things are wrong, but feeling that everything is right.

Right now, everything is right.

Look at you worrying so much about things you can't change
You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way

Don't you see the starlight, starlight

don't you dream impossible things

Eventually, Apparently

I'm writing this post... just because.

She's the kind of girl that, right off the bat, she knows everyone and everyone knows her. When she talks, there is no way you won't hear her. It might be easy to hear what she says out loud, but not everyone can  understand what she is trying to say inside. And I think she trusts me enough to tell me sometimes, and I hope I am worthy of this. She's open about what she says, but I realize that I do trust her with my secrets. She knows...things ;)

There is no end to the things she does that is...redundant but always entertaining. Teasing the Enlightened Forehead (and being one of the only people that can freak her out xp), giving people weird nicknames, singing songs about Mr. Naruto, making up her own songs, using words whether they are correct or not. Having 'on and off relationships' with Mr Ethanoate, even though I know perfectly well the two of you are good friends. (Seriously you two, get yo act together or I will really lock you two up in one of my empty rooms). Ah, how empty our classroom life would be without her XD. (I am not being sarcastic. really.)  

It is the feeling you get when someone gives you a gift, tells you 'I have been saving this for when I have a good friend, and now I am giving this to you'. It makes you wonder about how fast a friendship can develop. I have never seen it coming, since we weren't always close, nor do I understand what got it started, but hey, good things always happen that way. The best things always happen that way. Yeah, I tease her a lot, because that is how people naturally act around her. But the best moments are when she talks, REALLY talks, and I listen. Then I understand a little bit more, about her, and about myself too. Sometimes we are a little bit too alike inside.

So stop worrying about so many things. I know you're stressing out so much, and Mr. Idiotic isn't making it any easier (even though it is supposed to be his job). You're going to do fine, you have done so well. Considering that people ask 'why did you take this subject?', you are proving them wrong. And I think it's awesome.

   Thank you for showing me so much, for being an awesome friend and thank you for everything you do that did or did not annoy me. You know I will never actually be annoyed at you ;) Well here you are, your very own tribute post, something I knew I would write...eventually. Why did I write this? I don't know. I am writing this post...just because. ;)

We get high, we let go

We got more than we know

My friends are a different breed

My friends are everything

 Have a happy day everyone, 

Lexie

 

Merge

And there you go again telling yourself it is okay

Once again you are doing what they are used to seeing

There you go again 

Causing a scene like they are not tired of hearing about it

Thank you for those always willing to listen

Sorry that in the process, she cried today

But thank you for helping me get through this

I guess no matter how annoying I get 

I am never alone

也许是我自己没看见

她说，

他本来就是这样的

我从来都不曾怀疑

然后她说

那短短几句话

我‘不该知道’的话

那么可笑

原来我连朋友也不值

Whether or not I offend people

I never mean to 

Not always

Especially not you

Whether or not I should get offended

it is an endless cycle

and guess what,

at the end of the day

it wasn't anything to worry about anyway

不知要怎么形容

当朋友被伤害了

与自己受伤了

差别好大

结果只是

坐在那儿 闷不做声

像一个懦夫

不敢直视你

不敢责问你

就这样

坐在那儿

我还能做些什么

还不够吗

如果我做不到你想要的

那一切一切都是我的错

你以为我的性格就是这样

什么心事都告诉别人

生气也说

伤心也说

我多么地坦白

我多么地开放

我对全部人都是这样？

你很佩服我的爽朗吗？

And I finally decided to go for it

no matter how insecure I get

but I think they're right

you never know till you try 

even if you know how it ends

even if you know how it always ends

I trust you

I do

即使你感谢我对你的信任

即使我永远也不告诉你

你是有多么的伤人

你知道吗

对不起

从今 ， 以后， 

我无法再相信你了

朋友

什么是朋友

and those words rang in my head

she said,

'it's not worth it',

and so I tell myself,

but the words seem so clear -

you are not worth it

you are not worth

you are not.

You Are. 

when I woke up I had everything

a handful of moments I wish I could change

And a tongue like a nightmare that cuts like a blade

Arrogant girl

Love yourself so no one has to

they're better off without you

Arrogant girl

cause a scene like you're supposed to

they'll fall asleep without you

Give me therapy 

I'm a walking travesty

But I'm smiling at everything

Therapy 

You were never a friend to me

you can choke on your misery  

4 a.m

I have never really 'gone crazy over the weekend', but I think I can tick that box off now. I had the most surreal weekend ever, the type that made me think we are done with exams/ graduating, when in fact our first test of the semester is coming up in two weeks. I think that for some what  we did over the weekend was pretty normal, but I had this surreal feeling that I was hallucinating, and all that was just a dream. If it was, it was a great dream :).

I visited three houses I never thought I would in a span of two days, got to drink Mr. Marlboro's famous coffee, sang until my voice completely went (thank god it is almost back to normal now), watched a super stress-relieving movie, ate at a place I never thought I would, talked through the night and slept in the morning. If there was ever a time to feel like Taylor Swift's 22, that was the night.

It feels like one of those nights,

we ditch the whole scene, and end up dreaming, instead of sleeping.

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely in the best way

it's miserable and magical

Mr. Tsubasa has finally left. Of course, it feels like he came back for only one day, but I would take even a few minutes than none. I've never properly thanked you for the book, but I really really appreciate it, especially the fact that you got it, even after I told you ten times I don't need anything. But it would take awhile before I finish it, since there are tons of books lined up to be finished *guilty*. we didn't have a really, really proper farewell, since I had to rush off so suddenly,but no farewell can ever be *perfect*. And this isn't goodbye, it's just 'see you again'. I hope you take care, and I hope Australia is good for you. Continue getting those awesome results, and don't worry, you deserve every bit of it :)

This is when the feeling sinks in,

I don't want to miss you like this

come back, be here,

come back

be here

I don't know why but sometimes when I get too lost in the moment, I kinda start getting emotional and confused about some things. Like some things are such a bad, bad idea but in the moment, you feel like it is the best thing ever. Then when the moment has passed, you're all like 'yeah, if the things I do can just stop being a bad idea, that would be great '
Oh well, I guess I can't emphasize this enough, but...
what an awesome weekend :)

I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first,

fearless     

    

Let's Talk Greek

Given how the situation is currently I am surprised I didn't post something like this earlier.
Greek mythology. Everyone loves it,  some more than others, some used to know more and not so much now (raises hand *guiltily* ).

I am not going to go on and on and on about every Greek hero I know, but what I WILL do is, I will talk about my top three favorite characters.

Number three - Eros.
Well, of course the Greek version of Cupid has to be in the list. Who doesn't like cupid right. Greek god of love, sometimes depicted as primordial, sometimes as the son of Aphrodite, I actually find this a bit confusing ...but since when are Greek myths not confusing right. I don't really think my particular fascination is with Eros himself though, probably more towards the whole Erotes thing. I've seen them described as 'part of Aphrodite's retinue. Erotes is the plural of Eros, who as a singular deity has a more complex mythology." Okay you see I find that confusing too. So there are three gods involved in the whole 'love' mechanism, Anteros - the god of recruited love, Himeros - god of unrequited love, and Pothos - god of longing/desire (especially for those who are absent). It is kinda interesting to think that there is a god for each of these love- related feelings. But I would say that if they do exist (hey I am not saying they don't xp) I know which one I would be giving the death glare to for frequently visiting me (yes I am looking at you Himeros =.=).

Number Two - Apollo
My favorite Greek god ever. I have no solid reason as to why he is my favorite Greek god ever, but it probably has something to do with the fact he seems to be the only Greek god that I would imagine to be...young and handsome. Something like that. Lets see, Apollo - god of light and the sun, truth and prophecy, healing, plague, music, poetry, and more... Yeah. there is more, like it wasn't enough. Honestly the only stories I really know of him are the ones involving his lovers, I know, I know, you can see what my preferences are. Particularly the one about Hyacinthus (if it involves a male lover there is no way I wouldn't be all over that). But it is sad that there aren't much information on Hyacinthus, besides the fact he was handsome, athletic, spartan, and accidentally killed by Apollo himself while throwing the discus. Of course I prefer the version where Zephyrus blew the discus in Hyacinthus's way because he was jealous that Hyacinthus chose Apollo over him. Yeah, love can be dangerous sometimes.  And in the end, of course, Apollo turns him into a flower, which is apparently probably maybe the Iris (instead of the Hyacinth which I think it should logically be =.=).

Number One - The reason I was into Greek stuff and also the reason for this post anyway,

Narcissus. There is no stopping me when I start on Narcissus, but I would try to not write a novel on him.
Yeah maybe he was the most beautiful boy ever, guys and girls were falling for him left and right just by looking at his face, but I can say that I didn't even need to look at his face and I am already in love with this guy. His story is popularly known as something related to vanity, there is even a word to describe someone who is vain after his name. But I'm sure people who read into it felt like there was definitely more to it, like this story wasn't created just to talk about a vain person and his certain death, adn the moral of the story sin't just 'don't be a vain jerk'. Not to mention that his story was also related to how the nymph Echo became the 'echo' we know of now. And there were so many characters, Tiresias started it all by making the prophecy that Narcissus would live a long life if he did not know himself. Now I think that is where the trouble begins, because if his parents didn't frantically try to make him NEVER know how he looks like, and if he had known how he looks like since young, I do not think he would have fallen in love with his reflection. Then there was Ameinias  who was rejected by Narcissus, and killed himself then cursed him, and there was Nemesis who led him to the pool which resulted in him falling in love with his reflection.

I probably felt so strongly towards Narcissus because his story just broke my heart. I didn't even know the full story yet, I only knew he was a guy, who fell in love with his reflection, and died of a broken heart. If that isn't heartbreaking I have no idea what is.

I read a long and winding article about what the story of Narcissus was really supposed to teach you. It was 

long, and once again, confusing. But what I took note of was that 'he didn't scorn others because he was in love with himself', he scorned others, THEN he fell in love with himself.' He scorned those who love him because it all came too easily to him, and in the end he fell in love with the one person he couldn't have. In my opinion that is what happens a lot to real people in real life so I find it interesting. We always, always, want what we can't have. Especially if we have never learnt to appreciate what we actually have. Then there is also the fact that the 'secret point' to this story isn't about him, but the pool. How when you see into a pool, the pool looks back at you. And how it's not you looking at your reflection, but it is your reflection looking back at you. I take it as don't just look at your reflection, but look at how your reflection portrays you. 

'

But in the end, a story is a story, and a story is whatever you want it to be. In my opinion, if you exclude the whole certain death thing, maybe it is trying to tell you that if you have never known yourself, you will never learn to love others. And once you finally discovered yourself, that is when you would love yourself. But be careful, because sometimes, it might be too late.                  

Side note: thank you to the guy who ignited this whole Greek thing. And you know, it's still Ms. Chancello who gave you the card, not me (unless you were referring to her then I apologize xp) But I think I will tell her your thoughts on the card, just to ease her mind a bit :) And hey, I bet you could attract a few stray birds yourself if you were in a Disney film (although with the way we are singing everywhere we go I am starting to think we ARE becoming Disney characters). Hmm, if you (I) could be a character, who would you be.... hmmmmmh...And also, now that you mentioned it, I WOULD like a talking horse to appear, prince or no prince. And in fact, maybe even a talking dragon or something. 

Yeah, if I could, just for a bit, I would run away somewhere too, somewhere Far, Far Away...

Every sky was your own kind of blue

You showed me something that I couldn't see

Opened my eyes and you made me believe

Have a happy day everyone,

Lexie

     

       

By The Way

Hey,

I think you know who you are

I had the urge to say this face to face in school 

but it would've been awkward if I actually said it

but still

I want you to know

you are the smartest guy I know

and you will always be the smartest guy I know

maybe it's because you know so much, not just in studies

but mostly beause everything you know and everything you talk about

are the things I like hearing

you didn't lose yourself

and no one has the right to say that, no matter how good their intentions are

You can sing as loud as you like

And dance however much you want to

Live life as you want it to be,

because nothing can stop you 

Yeah this might be awkward

but you know who you are right?

So I hope you see this

And you know what,

shhh....

let this be a secret ;)


( I have no regrets posting this I have no regrets posting this I have no regrets posting this ...xp)

The End

   Emotional roller coasters are exhausting. I've been up, down, up, ( and mostly down), but I think everything turned out really fine. It's the type of rainbow after the rain thing.

   It started with me getting upset about some really stupid thing. I think that my emo-ness is kinda justified, but still rather stupid. Then I watched Pacific Rim, which was so unexpectedly AWESOME I kinda got really happy for awhile. Also , there is the fact Mr. Jaroque dragged me in his quest to stalk his favorite singer all around Malaysia.  He's seen him for the third time, come on. But of course getting to meet a singer was pretty nice, (not to mention the fact we were the ONLY ONES beside the radio crew who were there to see them). It ends with today I guess, with my semester 2 STPM results out. It all felt like a dream, I still don't believe the results are out. Either way I was a hundred times less stressed than the first time while waiting for my results, and I still have that weird, content feeling, like everything is okay (even though they weren't really that okay lol). And without bothering to list the subjects all out, 3.67, 3.00, 2.33 and 2.00, overall is 2.75. Hey that's pretty okay, there were IMPROVEMENTS! Haha. But I am sure that Sir. Chemist is not very pleased at all, my god, he gave me that 'look' when I was forced to say out all my results in the teacher's office. Why do you always do this to me sir, why!! T_T I am not going to lie though, I am disappointed that Bio, my only hope, was stuck at B. Sigh. Not even a ' + ' behind that B, I could almost see teacher's disappointed face and saying 'you are not serious' again.

Had to stay after school today, and coincidentally there was a friend who was staying too. We were studying quite successfully - at first. Then he just came over and then we were like talking and talking and I only got a few pages of chemistry down. But I count that as an achievement. He did say something that surprised me though.

"You seem so depressed. You laugh so much, that it looks like you are just covering up your pain.'

It was kinda weird, and it is also not true because naturally laughter seems to be my most frequent response to everything. But then it got me thinking, what if he was right? I think that what he said could actually be true, sometimes, but isn't laughter the best way to cover everything up? Besides it being a weird moment, I am actually touched that he said that, it feels like someone is trying to care about me xp.    

Today, once again, since I have this weird thing of adjusting my feelings to feel content about things I shouldn't be content with (did that make sense ?), I started falling into the role of consoling people, I guess. I really don't know what to say anymore because I completely understand what they are worried and upset about, but I am so helpless so I just did the whole act crazy and hope they laugh thing. There is only so much I can say. But please don't be upset, to all the people this may be of concern to, because there is a way, there is always a better way. I still believe what I wrote last time, that there is too much to do, there is no time to get upset. And to quote one of my favorite quotes ever - in the end everything will be okay,  and if it's not okay...

It's not the end.

     

And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you can tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
But I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well

And if we only die once I wanna die with you

Have a happy day everyone,

Lexie

Cold as you

Sometimes I wonder, if I just evaporate into thin air, would you care?

Then I realize, if I had to ask that question,

you probably won't care.

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Emotional

First things first, Happy Birthday to a certain Mr. Freedom !!! It was kinda crazy with all the gift giving and what not, but it is great that it all went smoothly!

Today is also education fair day, had some 'interesting information'. And I have no idea why, but being stuck at one booth for almost 20 minutes, rushing back to the canteen, eating at lightning speed then waiting outside the auditorium forever kinda makes one person kinda emotional okay,  I was super unable to calm down. And THEN someone had to make me angry at the wrong time, like what in the world man. I am angrier at the fact I was angry at such a small thing, more than what the person actually did. ARGHHH. But then I calmed down and was like...lol what is wrong with me.

Then on another different note, and on to another different person, why do people have to be so...UGH sometimes. Like seriously, why do some people just find the need to p*** other people off. (I also realize I tend to get angrier when someone does something to my friend than just directly to me). And of all the people to mess with...come on, are you ASKING to get killed? Or maybe it's fun hurting other people's feelings, yeah it might be fun if the person you mess with won't KILL YOU. Seriously people, seriously.

Today was just such a weird mess of happy, exciting, angry and frustrated emotions, I feel like I can't breathe. Sigh.

And also...one small, random thing....

Have you ever had someone, only younger than you by one year, BOW to you while saying thanks? ;)

That is something to remember.

Anyway, Happy birthday dude

Lexie   

Where there is desire there is bound to be a flame

where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned

Funny how the heart can be deceiving

More than just a couple times

THIS IS SPARTAAAA!

So, last Friday was lower 6 Orientation Games, and it was funnn! Lots of water, lots of physical work, less mind-challenging games (compared to OUR orientation last year), and really, big emphasize on the PHYSICAL WORK. Guess I'm not really in good shape because the next day my whole body was aching. I've never had muscle pain on my legs, arms, abdomen, back and even throat all at the same time!! (the throat part is probably due to too much screaming). Special thanks to our lovely game planners for making this happen eh. But also, special thanks to Ms. R.M for pulling me and Ms. Paris into this!

I am glad that we went through the part that concerned me the most, which is coming up with a group name and cheer quite smoothly. From something to do with running man, we ended up with Sparta instead, and I almost expected our group cheer to have 'this is Spartaaa!' in it, but there actually wasn't (disappointed xp). Anyway, my group members are pretty awesome! They are actually the main point as to why I feel quite satisfied with the games. Cause really, besides the tissue blowing game which we were (surprisingly) good at, we kinda suck at the other games haha! We came in 7th place, but we were happy enough to not get last place. 做人不可以贪心 ohh~~~

It really was a great day. Mr. Sparta with his super loud voice during the cheer (looks like someone was enthusiastic), the two really reliable girls, there was Mr. T and Ms. B who were nice but really really quiet (in fact I dn think I even heard Mr. T say anything), and then there was Green Tea who was being all annoying and cute at the same time :3. Not to mention Ms. Pengerusi was being all high again. Ooh, and I got to play tarik tali for the first time in my life...shocking right? I was a bit sad though when it ended, cause it felt like way too soon.

Sigh, can we play again?

Have a nice day everyone,

Lexie      

       

It Feels Like One of Those NIghts

Ever wonder about how much better things will be 

If you could say anything you wanted 

Do anything in the world 

Sing anything at the top of your lungs

To whoever you wanted to

And there are absolutely no consequences

Some things are a bad idea 

But you dive into it anyway

One way or another

You make it happen anyway  

Oh dear, let the bad judgements begin ;) 

We're happy free confused and lonely in the best way
It's miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it's time 

Take Me Away To Some Place Real

I used to have quite serious fan girl fits. 'Used to', because it has been such a long, long time since I had a new one. I guess I don't fan girl over something/someone for too long. But when it is happening... it happens, BAD. And dear lord it is actually happening again!

It all started during the holidays, after I came back from my trip to Nepal. The trip was in a nutshell, quite uneventful compared to what we expected. Wrong season, heavy clouds, couldn't see the Himalayas no matter which area we are in (except during flight). Sigh. However there are still beautiful, endless green hilly areas where I feel like running round and going all sound of music, haha. So randomly, I watched Beauty And the Beast there one day, though I couldn't understand a word cause it was dubbed in their language. When I came back I searched it up online, got all 'woahhhhhh this is so good!', then decided to spend my last two days before school reopened on an animated movie marathon, yeah, being productive. Most of what I watched were good, they were just great past times as usual, then there is one. 

How To Train Your Dragon.

Very, very weird thing though, is that somehow Rise of The Guardians is still my favourite animated movie ever, but I got a bit more obsessed with this. It doesn't really make sense to me either. But about HTTYD, I guess I am kinda late in watching it, didn't really think much of it when it came out too. I still remember when I first saw the trailer with my bro in a mall somewhere, both of us were like 'Looks interesting, what is this movie?' then I never thought about watching it since. Until my movie marathon, where I suddenly remembered the trailer. I started out with looking back at the trailer, and seeing people commenting things like 'best movie ever', and I'm like... 'it is just another dragon story, how good can it be?' Yeah, turns out it was better than I could ever dream of. 

Yeah I really don't know, maybe I am just exaggerating like crazy, but I can't help it. I guess I realized that I am going to get obsessed over this movie halfway through it, right about some part where I almost started crying because of nothing. It was really nothing. Nothing sad, nothing touching, nothing even outrageously happy to tear up about, nothing, and yet I swear I was almost going to cry. Oh, and the goosebumps, never forget the goosebumps. 

First off, I was very, very pleasantly surprised at how well-paced the movie is. That is probably the top reason, the pace. I feel like animated movies are kinda rushed sometimes due to the fact that they usually only last for about an hour and a half. So it sometimes leaves me with this slight empty, I didn't really watch much feeling, or even some ' well that esclated quickly' moments. Not with this one though. I was especially happy at how much time they gave to develop the guy and the dragon's relationship, instead of them just meeting one day, then having the dragon just miraculously befriends him after one little encounter.

Another thing is the soundtrack, the music is just be-au-ti-ful! That was what gave me all the goosebumps and the near-tears-for-nothing moments. Then of course with a movie like this, there's gotta be gorgeous scenery, heart warming moments and also funny, funny parts. Well, this movie has all of that and more. I even love the main character's voice, it just fits Hiccup's awkward, sarcastic character so well. Oh, and another thing is, I love how all the other dragons are just monstrous and scary, while the main dragon, Toothless, just looks like a cute...cat. hahaha!!!      

Oh, imagine how excited I got when I realized it is not over. Yeah, it was made into an animated series! Dragons : Riders of Berk is what it's called, and I was so happy about that, mannnnnnn! I felt like I have never been so lucky before. I realize this movie gets a lot of love though, because there are already a sequel coming out (fingers crossed that it's good!) , three short films, and two seasons of animated series.  It almost feels like Dreamworks KNOWS they did a great job with the movie :D Okay, more for me, definitely not complaining!    

Sometimes when I think about the movie (yes, it kinda happens a lot now), I feel like running away to this place where people have their own dragons, who will protect you and be your best friend forever, the place where you go on life-changing adventures everyday. And sometimes I wish I can just free fall from the sky, no fears or worries,  knowing that I can trust my dragon to catch me.

Maybe that's why this movie is so great, because sometimes, you need a special place to escape reality.

     

Home is Where Your Heart is Set in Stone

Is where You Go When You're Alone

Is Were You Go To Rest Your Bones

With Every Small Disaster

I let The Waters Still

Take Me Away To Some Place Real