By The Way

Hey,

I think you know who you are

I had the urge to say this face to face in school 

but it would've been awkward if I actually said it

but still

I want you to know

you are the smartest guy I know

and you will always be the smartest guy I know

maybe it's because you know so much, not just in studies

but mostly beause everything you know and everything you talk about

are the things I like hearing

you didn't lose yourself

and no one has the right to say that, no matter how good their intentions are

You can sing as loud as you like

And dance however much you want to

Live life as you want it to be,

because nothing can stop you 

Yeah this might be awkward

but you know who you are right?

So I hope you see this

And you know what,

shhh....

let this be a secret ;)


( I have no regrets posting this I have no regrets posting this I have no regrets posting this ...xp)

The End

   Emotional roller coasters are exhausting. I've been up, down, up, ( and mostly down), but I think everything turned out really fine. It's the type of rainbow after the rain thing.

   It started with me getting upset about some really stupid thing. I think that my emo-ness is kinda justified, but still rather stupid. Then I watched Pacific Rim, which was so unexpectedly AWESOME I kinda got really happy for awhile. Also , there is the fact Mr. Jaroque dragged me in his quest to stalk his favorite singer all around Malaysia.  He's seen him for the third time, come on. But of course getting to meet a singer was pretty nice, (not to mention the fact we were the ONLY ONES beside the radio crew who were there to see them). It ends with today I guess, with my semester 2 STPM results out. It all felt like a dream, I still don't believe the results are out. Either way I was a hundred times less stressed than the first time while waiting for my results, and I still have that weird, content feeling, like everything is okay (even though they weren't really that okay lol). And without bothering to list the subjects all out, 3.67, 3.00, 2.33 and 2.00, overall is 2.75. Hey that's pretty okay, there were IMPROVEMENTS! Haha. But I am sure that Sir. Chemist is not very pleased at all, my god, he gave me that 'look' when I was forced to say out all my results in the teacher's office. Why do you always do this to me sir, why!! T_T I am not going to lie though, I am disappointed that Bio, my only hope, was stuck at B. Sigh. Not even a ' + ' behind that B, I could almost see teacher's disappointed face and saying 'you are not serious' again.

Had to stay after school today, and coincidentally there was a friend who was staying too. We were studying quite successfully - at first. Then he just came over and then we were like talking and talking and I only got a few pages of chemistry down. But I count that as an achievement. He did say something that surprised me though.

"You seem so depressed. You laugh so much, that it looks like you are just covering up your pain.'

It was kinda weird, and it is also not true because naturally laughter seems to be my most frequent response to everything. But then it got me thinking, what if he was right? I think that what he said could actually be true, sometimes, but isn't laughter the best way to cover everything up? Besides it being a weird moment, I am actually touched that he said that, it feels like someone is trying to care about me xp.    

Today, once again, since I have this weird thing of adjusting my feelings to feel content about things I shouldn't be content with (did that make sense ?), I started falling into the role of consoling people, I guess. I really don't know what to say anymore because I completely understand what they are worried and upset about, but I am so helpless so I just did the whole act crazy and hope they laugh thing. There is only so much I can say. But please don't be upset, to all the people this may be of concern to, because there is a way, there is always a better way. I still believe what I wrote last time, that there is too much to do, there is no time to get upset. And to quote one of my favorite quotes ever - in the end everything will be okay,  and if it's not okay...

It's not the end.

     

And I had the week that came from hell
And yes I know that you can tell
But you're like the net under the ledge
But I go flying off the edge
You go flying off as well

And if we only die once I wanna die with you

Have a happy day everyone,

Lexie

Cold as you

Sometimes I wonder, if I just evaporate into thin air, would you care?

Then I realize, if I had to ask that question,

you probably won't care.

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Emotional

First things first, Happy Birthday to a certain Mr. Freedom !!! It was kinda crazy with all the gift giving and what not, but it is great that it all went smoothly!

Today is also education fair day, had some 'interesting information'. And I have no idea why, but being stuck at one booth for almost 20 minutes, rushing back to the canteen, eating at lightning speed then waiting outside the auditorium forever kinda makes one person kinda emotional okay,  I was super unable to calm down. And THEN someone had to make me angry at the wrong time, like what in the world man. I am angrier at the fact I was angry at such a small thing, more than what the person actually did. ARGHHH. But then I calmed down and was like...lol what is wrong with me.

Then on another different note, and on to another different person, why do people have to be so...UGH sometimes. Like seriously, why do some people just find the need to p*** other people off. (I also realize I tend to get angrier when someone does something to my friend than just directly to me). And of all the people to mess with...come on, are you ASKING to get killed? Or maybe it's fun hurting other people's feelings, yeah it might be fun if the person you mess with won't KILL YOU. Seriously people, seriously.

Today was just such a weird mess of happy, exciting, angry and frustrated emotions, I feel like I can't breathe. Sigh.

And also...one small, random thing....

Have you ever had someone, only younger than you by one year, BOW to you while saying thanks? ;)

That is something to remember.

Anyway, Happy birthday dude

Lexie   

Where there is desire there is bound to be a flame

where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned

Funny how the heart can be deceiving

More than just a couple times

THIS IS SPARTAAAA!

So, last Friday was lower 6 Orientation Games, and it was funnn! Lots of water, lots of physical work, less mind-challenging games (compared to OUR orientation last year), and really, big emphasize on the PHYSICAL WORK. Guess I'm not really in good shape because the next day my whole body was aching. I've never had muscle pain on my legs, arms, abdomen, back and even throat all at the same time!! (the throat part is probably due to too much screaming). Special thanks to our lovely game planners for making this happen eh. But also, special thanks to Ms. R.M for pulling me and Ms. Paris into this!

I am glad that we went through the part that concerned me the most, which is coming up with a group name and cheer quite smoothly. From something to do with running man, we ended up with Sparta instead, and I almost expected our group cheer to have 'this is Spartaaa!' in it, but there actually wasn't (disappointed xp). Anyway, my group members are pretty awesome! They are actually the main point as to why I feel quite satisfied with the games. Cause really, besides the tissue blowing game which we were (surprisingly) good at, we kinda suck at the other games haha! We came in 7th place, but we were happy enough to not get last place. 做人不可以贪心 ohh~~~

It really was a great day. Mr. Sparta with his super loud voice during the cheer (looks like someone was enthusiastic), the two really reliable girls, there was Mr. T and Ms. B who were nice but really really quiet (in fact I dn think I even heard Mr. T say anything), and then there was Green Tea who was being all annoying and cute at the same time :3. Not to mention Ms. Pengerusi was being all high again. Ooh, and I got to play tarik tali for the first time in my life...shocking right? I was a bit sad though when it ended, cause it felt like way too soon.

Sigh, can we play again?

Have a nice day everyone,

Lexie      

       

It Feels Like One of Those NIghts

Ever wonder about how much better things will be 

If you could say anything you wanted 

Do anything in the world 

Sing anything at the top of your lungs

To whoever you wanted to

And there are absolutely no consequences

Some things are a bad idea 

But you dive into it anyway

One way or another

You make it happen anyway  

Oh dear, let the bad judgements begin ;) 

We're happy free confused and lonely in the best way
It's miserable and magical oh yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about the heartbreaks, it's time 

Take Me Away To Some Place Real

I used to have quite serious fan girl fits. 'Used to', because it has been such a long, long time since I had a new one. I guess I don't fan girl over something/someone for too long. But when it is happening... it happens, BAD. And dear lord it is actually happening again!

It all started during the holidays, after I came back from my trip to Nepal. The trip was in a nutshell, quite uneventful compared to what we expected. Wrong season, heavy clouds, couldn't see the Himalayas no matter which area we are in (except during flight). Sigh. However there are still beautiful, endless green hilly areas where I feel like running round and going all sound of music, haha. So randomly, I watched Beauty And the Beast there one day, though I couldn't understand a word cause it was dubbed in their language. When I came back I searched it up online, got all 'woahhhhhh this is so good!', then decided to spend my last two days before school reopened on an animated movie marathon, yeah, being productive. Most of what I watched were good, they were just great past times as usual, then there is one. 

How To Train Your Dragon.

Very, very weird thing though, is that somehow Rise of The Guardians is still my favourite animated movie ever, but I got a bit more obsessed with this. It doesn't really make sense to me either. But about HTTYD, I guess I am kinda late in watching it, didn't really think much of it when it came out too. I still remember when I first saw the trailer with my bro in a mall somewhere, both of us were like 'Looks interesting, what is this movie?' then I never thought about watching it since. Until my movie marathon, where I suddenly remembered the trailer. I started out with looking back at the trailer, and seeing people commenting things like 'best movie ever', and I'm like... 'it is just another dragon story, how good can it be?' Yeah, turns out it was better than I could ever dream of. 

Yeah I really don't know, maybe I am just exaggerating like crazy, but I can't help it. I guess I realized that I am going to get obsessed over this movie halfway through it, right about some part where I almost started crying because of nothing. It was really nothing. Nothing sad, nothing touching, nothing even outrageously happy to tear up about, nothing, and yet I swear I was almost going to cry. Oh, and the goosebumps, never forget the goosebumps. 

First off, I was very, very pleasantly surprised at how well-paced the movie is. That is probably the top reason, the pace. I feel like animated movies are kinda rushed sometimes due to the fact that they usually only last for about an hour and a half. So it sometimes leaves me with this slight empty, I didn't really watch much feeling, or even some ' well that esclated quickly' moments. Not with this one though. I was especially happy at how much time they gave to develop the guy and the dragon's relationship, instead of them just meeting one day, then having the dragon just miraculously befriends him after one little encounter.

Another thing is the soundtrack, the music is just be-au-ti-ful! That was what gave me all the goosebumps and the near-tears-for-nothing moments. Then of course with a movie like this, there's gotta be gorgeous scenery, heart warming moments and also funny, funny parts. Well, this movie has all of that and more. I even love the main character's voice, it just fits Hiccup's awkward, sarcastic character so well. Oh, and another thing is, I love how all the other dragons are just monstrous and scary, while the main dragon, Toothless, just looks like a cute...cat. hahaha!!!      

Oh, imagine how excited I got when I realized it is not over. Yeah, it was made into an animated series! Dragons : Riders of Berk is what it's called, and I was so happy about that, mannnnnnn! I felt like I have never been so lucky before. I realize this movie gets a lot of love though, because there are already a sequel coming out (fingers crossed that it's good!) , three short films, and two seasons of animated series.  It almost feels like Dreamworks KNOWS they did a great job with the movie :D Okay, more for me, definitely not complaining!    

Sometimes when I think about the movie (yes, it kinda happens a lot now), I feel like running away to this place where people have their own dragons, who will protect you and be your best friend forever, the place where you go on life-changing adventures everyday. And sometimes I wish I can just free fall from the sky, no fears or worries,  knowing that I can trust my dragon to catch me.

Maybe that's why this movie is so great, because sometimes, you need a special place to escape reality.

     

Home is Where Your Heart is Set in Stone

Is where You Go When You're Alone

Is Were You Go To Rest Your Bones

With Every Small Disaster

I let The Waters Still

Take Me Away To Some Place Real