The Last Time

When people let their minds wander, they go off to the strangest places. Oh, the things different people can ask me at the same time....Things about what if she was a guy and what I think is the purpose of my life. They ask, I answer, then I wonder to myself. I can talk and talk to the same person, all night, about pointless things, or the same things over and over again, and yet some things never truly get answered because I truly don't know. When everyone else is in a weird mood together, at least tonight I was in a good one. Talking about your future and reminiscing the past. Complaining about people and doubting yourself. Listening to motivational songs and declaring your love for a friend together. It's just one of those nights.

Then at the same night, Nick Vujicic appears on TV, talking about things related to what I have heard from my many conversations. Just that what he says seems to be the answer to a lot of things, although it is not what I've never heard before. If he had given up long ago, then he wouldn't have gotten what he has now. Things about Asian parents,negative reinforcement versus positive acknowledgement. Things about you're beautiful, and move on from those 'emo' stuff and project happiness. This guy. Everything he says , however cliche, makes you go 'ahhhhhh. I hear you dude.' 

Don't even bother asking me 'do you believe in me?' again. My answer is always 'yes.' and I don't lie. I told you, I believe in everyone. Even people I'm not necessarily too fond of. I don't think I am ever truly surprised if someone suddenly accomplishes something, because for some reason or other I think anyone can do anything. If you ask me 'why do you think I will be fine?' Maybe I will say it again - 'Because,  you are just like me. ' I don't care if you disagree with me, but I am just going to say it - We will always be 'fine', no matter what happens. It doesn't mean we won't get upset about things, but we WILL be fine. We can handle anything. Okay perhaps I shall tell myself that ten times a day and it will be like the 'today I feel great' thing. =.= 

I don't ever want to say and do something heartfelt or important without really meaning it, ever. Man, if only I get a penny for every single time I say that recently. Call me crazy, but no matter how cheesy/scripted I sound, I MEAN the things I say. I don't care if while saying it I was laughing, frowning, sighing, smiling, if it was cheesy or stupid or sounds like I am joking, I actually do MEAN THINGS. If I say I think you're awesome then trust me, at least to me, you are. If I have ever said I will do anything for you then congrats, you must really mean a lot to me. If I ever add 'it means a lot' behind my 'Thank You', you better believe that it really means THE WORLD to me. If I say I think you can do something, then I swear to god I think you can, and I am waiting to see you do it.

So...tonight, I had this sudden epiphany  about how I should carry on with this and blah blah blah. If ..'stuff' happens again, I swear to myself, I will say exactly what I think of it. If I think you are being an idiot again, then the next time I AM going to tell you, seriously, you are being an IDIOT. If I want someone to just back off for a bit then I am going to ASK you to BACK OFF. In fact if this actually happens I am probably not going to shut up, no matter how awkward the situation is. (so this is turning into a rant...?) 

Look at me, writing things I probably won't be able to accomplish. But it's just one of those nights.

You say thanks for being a friend
and we're going in circles again and again

I dedicate this song to you
the one who never sees the truth
that I can take away your hurt
Heartbreak Girl

       

 This is the last time I'm asking you this,

Put my name at the top of your list.