Hands of Fate

You know you haven't been blogging for awhile when you almost forgot your password. They say time flies when you're having a good time, but for some reason time can also fly by even when you aren't having too much of a 'good time'. Or maybe it is the whole 'blocking out the bad memories' thing going on. Things change, really quickly. In just a blink of an eye, everything can change, and it sweeps over like a current, nothing you can do to stop it. The more you fight it, the worse it becomes. If you list out every event in your life that changes you in a way, can you ever list them all?

Man are the only ones plagued by one of the most ultimate fears, the fear of time running out. When I think about seizing the moment and living your life, how very, very soon everything I have now will be gone,   and it will change, I almost get a panic attack of some sort. Things don't go your way forever, and nothing really lasts forever. Maybe now you're perfect, and the next second you're broken. Maybe now you love, and suddenly you're forced to hate, then the next second you love again. Maybe you know some things are wrong, but you still see it as right, because there is no time, time is running out, there is no time for all the wrong. Why do we complicate things with 'cause that is how it is, you HAVE to face the truth'. Maybe when you start fearing about time, then you realize that 'the bitter truth' can use some sugar coating. Cause why would we want our memories to be filled with hate, despair, and disappointment?

We can't handle things on our own all the time. We are not psychologists and motivational speakers and crazy optimists no matter how many people come to you for advice and to tell you their feelings. Even if you wish you are really all that. But some things you tell yourself everyday, tell yourself till you're tired of your own thoughts, tell yourself till you run out of positive things to say to other people, and you realize that actually, the whole positive vibe comes more naturally now. And the smallest things help, even just a bit. Like occupying your time and mind with tons of chemistry exercises, like listening to Ed Sheeran while snuggling in a blanket with your favorite hot drink.

Nothing really lasts forever, but as long as something touched you once, it will touch you forever.

We see things the way we want it to be 

And things turn out the way we see it

Tell me what is wrong

Tell me what is right

Tell me why if you fight life,

Life always wins

You care till it hurts, or bleeds,

Or fades in time

And the hurt really does fade,

though the memory stays

And you always come away with something more

It was good, never looking down

We just learn to live with the pain

Mosaic broken hearts 

There's always some people around

they come around and the armor falls

Pierce the room like a cannon ball
you never saw them coming

and you'll never be the same again

and all we know,

is don't let go

Some things in life just had to happen,

so you tell yourself

these are the hands of fate,

this is the worthwhile fight,

this is the golden age,

this is the state of grace

I'll paint you by numbers,

and colour you in

if things go right we can frame it

and put you on a wall

I'm gonna pick up the pieces, 

and build a lego house

if things go wrong we can knock it down.

And I will love you better now.